Tag: police

Survey Results – How parents managed a crisis

Survey Results – How parents managed a crisis

In a small survey a couple of years ago, I asked parents how they handled their child’s mental health crisis.  It was completed by 16 people in one city–too few to get a broad picture.  Can you help learn what works and what doesn’t work by sharing your story?  Wherever you live in the world, your information can also help crisis responders, law enforcement officials, and schools to do a better job in a crisis. We need ideas, and “dos” and “don’ts”, for handling our really serious situations.

Please take this new survey about your experiences with your child’s mental health crises. Thank you.

Click the button below. The survey will take approximately 10 minutes.  It is completely anonymous.  The survey closes December 31, 2017, and results will be analyzed and published on this site and its Facebook page by January 15, 2018. (“Follow” to ensure you see results.)


Here’s what the first survey found:

Demographics (16 respondents from the greater Portland, Oregon region)

Child’s age range:  9 to 24 years of age
Child’s gender:   67% male, 33% female
Child’s diagnosis:  Everything!

Autism, ADD and ADHD, depression and bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, brain injury, severe anxiety, PTSD, obsessive compulsive disorder, borderline personality disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, Tourette’s, reactive attachment disorder, and sensory processing disorders including PDD (pervasive developmental disorder).

This is a general summary of the results.  If you’re a geeky type, graphs of raw results are at the end of this article.

When your child had a mental health crisis, what did you do?

Parents had a variety of responses, with the most seeking help from mental health providers (hospital, crisis line, etc.).  Many tried to handle a crisis themselves, either by themselves or with the support of others.  Since many crises happen at school, the parents’ only option was taking their child home.  Many called the police at least once for a crisis, but a few called multiple times.

Of those who called the law enforcement:

Those parents who responded said the law enforcement officers mostly did a great job, and if the child was arrested, they agreed that the arrest was appropriate (these were parents who faced severe behavior: physical violence, psychotic rage, property damage, and credible threats of harm).  A few parents experienced criticism from the police, or their child was arrested and they did not agree with this.  A few also indicated their child had calmed down by the time the police arrived.

What kinds of help did parents seek?

Most parents sought help from other people (such as family members, friends, and neighbors) and from a mental health crisis line for information, emergency response, and support.  This was followed by seeking psychiatric care, or help from a school counselor if the child was at school.  A few didn’t seek help.

What worked best for managing a crisis?

By far, when parents had the help of friends and family, the crisis outcome was the best.  They also experience good results when they called a crisis line, which includes both for law enforcement police or mental health.   A few found hospitalization and other crisis responders helpful.

Comments:
“We implemented a crisis plan we’d made that included all options.”
“My child is 18 and I don’t know the adult system. Nothing’s worked thus far.”

What was the quality of the crisis resolution with each of these services available?

  • Most often, temporary improvement was the result of using the crisis support options available.
  • Also most often, crises worsened if a school was involved or a parent tried to manage it alone.
  • Next most often, the crisis results were good but the parents still had concerns. The police and psychiatric facilities were best at getting good results.
  • A “best possible outcome” was uncommon; only a 1 in 5 had this result.

Comments:
“The staff at the school made things much worse for my son. We had to find a different school.”
“My daughter did well after inpatient care, but there was no discharge plan.”
“The school counselor was useless, insisting that everything my daughter was acting normal for her age.”
“My ex played me as the “bad” guy.”
“Family and friends were clueless.”
“The police were helpful but temporary because they couldn’t help with underlying issues.”
“Hospitalization for a week helped her eventually get insight into her illness, but it took a long time.”

What have you done for self-care?

By far, parents took time off, and received therapy or medication for themselves.  This was followed by including the family in time off or in family therapy.  Half got help by attending a support group, followed by classes or involvement in a mental health organization.  Some sought respite care.

This is what we want: happy healthy children. Is that too much to ask?

What do you wish for the most?

This was an open-ended question and survey takers were encouraged to put down a sentence or two.  There were 29 comments for this question. Here is a general summary of the responses ranked from most to least, followed by a selection of quotes.

1. More, better, and affordable mental health treatment
2. A better life for my child
3. A break and rest
4. Emotional support
5. Better skills and knowledge for helping my child

Selected comments:

“Fewer financial barriers to health and wellness services”
“Easier access to the right care at the right time”
“For my daughter to feel safe and loved and at peace in her soul”
“For my son to feel better and participate in more everyday activities”
“More and restful sleep”
“People understanding us, including mental health professionals”
“Support group for spiritual development”
“Mentoring and positive community activities for teens”
“A cleaning lady (or man)”
“Knowledge of what to do and who to call”
“More understanding by my family members instead of judgment”
“To be more patient and calm”


RAW RESULTS

When you handled a mental health crisis, what did you do?  (% who responded, multiple responses possible)

Comments:
–We’ve responded in all of these ways.

If you’ve ever called law enforcement, how many times?   (% who responded)

What happened when you called law enforcement?  (% who responded, multiple responses possible)

Comments:
–Police took my child to a mental health facility.
–My son came home later, calmed down.

Did you seek help from other services?  (% responding, multiple responses possible)

Comments:
–If he wasn’t a danger to himself or others they could do nothing.
–Definitely have thought about who to call

What worked best to handle a mental health crisis?  (% who responded, multiple responses possible)

Comments:
–We implemented a crisis plan we’d made that included all options.
–My child is 18 and I don’t know the adult system. Nothing’s worked thus far.

What were the results?  (number who responded, multiple responses possible)

Comments:
–The staff at the school made things much worse for my son. We had to find a different school.
–My daughter did well after inpatient care, but then tanked and there was no discharge plan. I pushed hard to get her in a step-down facility, and then we got a good discharge plan.
–The school counselor was useless, insisting that everything my daughter was acting normal for her age. My ex played me as the “bad” guy. Family and Friends were clueless. The police were helpful but temporary because they couldn’t help with underlying issues. Hospitalization for a week helped her eventually get insight into her illness, but it took a long time.

Have you taken any action for self care?  (% who responded, multiple responses possible)

Comments:
–We got a companion pet.
–I built a support network of friends and colleagues with expertise in meditation and self-care.
–I got respite when my son was placed with his father temporarily.

As a parent of a troubled child, what do you wish for most?  (number responding, up to 3 choices possible)

 

–Margaret

How to work with police once you’ve called 911.

How to work with police once you’ve called 911.

 

Q: Should I call 911?  I’ve been told I should call the police or mental health hotline when there’s a crisis, but how do I know when it’s a real crisis?


A:  If your child is doing something dangerous to him or herself, or others (including a pet), or property, and if you can’t manage it or stop it, call.  “Dangerous” means threatening, harmful, or abusive.  Emergency 911 dispatchers, police, and mental health crisis workers all encourage anyone to call, anytime.  You will not bother them.  I once visited a 911 facility and got a chance to ask to speak with the staff and this was their message.  They described the many ways they can respond when a child or teen “blows out,” runs, or becomes suicidal.

 


Once you call the police:

Advice from the Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health (www.ffcmh.org).

  

1.   Remain as calm as you possibly can.

 

2.   Provide only facts as quickly and clearly as possible.

EXAMPLE:  I am calling from [address].  My 13-year-old son is threatening to cut his sister.  He has [diagnosis] and may be off his medication and under the influence of alcohol.  There are 4 of us in the house: my mother, my son and daughter, and myself.

 

3.   Identify weapons in the vicinity or in your child’s possession and alert the dispatcher

 

4.   Be specific about what type of police assistance you are asking for.

EXAMPLE:  We want to protect ourselves and get my son to the emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation, but cannot do that by ourselves.  Please send help.

 

5.   Answer any questions the dispatcher asks.  Do not take offense when you are asked to repeat information.  This is done to double-check details and better assist you.

 

6.   Offer information to the dispatcher about how an officer can help your child calm down.

 

7.   Tell the dispatcher any addition information you can about what might cause you child’s behavior to become more dangerous—suggest actions the officer should avoid.

EXAMPLE:  Please don’t tell him to stand still.  He cannot hold his body still until he calms.  If you can get him to walk with you, he can listen and respond better.  He is terrified of being handcuffed.  Please tell him what he needs to do to avoid being handcuffed.

 

REMEMBER:  Your primary role in this situation is to be a good communicator.  Your ability to remain calm and provide factual details is critical the outcome of this situation.” 

– – – – – – –

 

What is your local police force like?  Call the non-emergency line and check, ask questions about how police typically respond to situations where a child or teenager is diagnosed with a mental disorder and out of control.

 

In many parents’ experiences, including mine, the police were very helpful.  Others have had poor experiences.  Some said their child calmed down and appeared normal once the police arrived, and they felt the police assumed they were exaggerating.  Some said the police only aggravated the crisis, and in a very few cases, the encounter lead to tragedy.

In 2007, I attended the national conference of the Federation of Families in Washington DC, and learned from the President of the National Association of Chiefs of Police, Ronald C. Ruecker, that the NACP has made a commitment to promote police training in crisis response to children with mental disorders, including information about the disorders and their manifestations.

Parent to Parent Guidance

Parent to Parent Guidance

Margaret Puckette is a Certified Parent Support Provider, and partners with parents for successfully raising their troubled child, teen, or young adult. She believes parents and families need realistic practical guidance for home and school life, not just information about disorders. Margaret has mentored families for over 20 years. She is an author & speaker, and believes mentally healthy families raise mentally healthy children.

You Can Handle This.

You Can Handle This.

You are not alone. It's no one's fault. Behavior disorders are disabilities! Troubled children need a very different parenting approach than 'normal' kids.

Care for yourself first, then set new goals:
1. Physical and emotional safety for all
2. Acceptance of the way things are
3. Family balance, meet the needs of all
4. One step at a time, one day at a time

Practical Guide for Parents

Practical Guide for Parents

A guide with practical steps for reducing stress at home and successfully raising a troubled child. You use the same proven techniques as mental health and other professionals. It starts by taking care of your wellbeing first, then taking an entirely different approach to parenting.
Amazon $14.99, Kindle $5.99