Try scoring your parenting skills on the following test. It’s for parents of children ages 11-15 who have serious behavior problems. This test is from a parenting guide created in 2007 by StandUp Parenting (www.standup.org) to help parents understand what is needed to maintain authority at home and set a good example by modeling maturity. (If you are brave enough, you might have someone else who lives with you score you as well, and then compare notes.)
|Always: 5 Generally: 4 Sometimes: 3 Rarely: 2 Never: 1||Your score|
|1. My child’s other parent (or caregiver) and I agree on how to discipline our child.||
|2. My child can depend on me to do what I say I will.||
|3. When I say “no”, I stick to it.||
|4. I treat my child with respect, even when I’m angry.||
|5. I let natural consequences do the teaching whenever feasible.||
|6. I am confident my child has everything she/he needs to make good decisions.||
|7. I allow my child to do his/her chores without my reminding.||
|8. I allow my child to voice her/his opinions when done in a respectful way.||
|9. I am able to stay out of arguments by disengaging before they escalate.||
|10: When I make a mistake in judgment, I’m quick to admit it.||
45 – 50 Good job! You are on the right track.
30 – 45 Not bad, just a little more work in those challenging areas.
Less than 30 Keep trying! Find parenting help with a support group; a therapist for you or your child or both; other mental health treatment; or books (recommendation).
Don’t be hard on yourself if you score low.
Parenting your child might be the most difficult job of all.
You might be thinking: “I agree these are good parenting skills, but pulling them off is impossible with my child. It’s relentlessly stressful at home and I’m exhausted…” OK, so work on just one of them, and check back in a few months to see if you’ve improved your score.
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